I was asked recently what I mean by my by-line "attempting to raise children in a warm and loving manner."
Here goes. I'm a mammal, and I do, honestly believe that culturally we need to act more like mammals than we do in respect to raising children. Among other things such as mammary glands, hair on our bodies and such like, one of the hallmarks of mammalian behaviour is to "raise young in a warm and loving manner."
Mammals are primarily relational creatures.
Lord knows I try.
However hard I try, I fail.
I've never seen one of our cats freak out on her kittens.
What I've noticed over the years, though, is that the more I acted like a mammal, the more I felt like one. The more okay it was to be a mammal. Rainy never put her kittens in daycare so she could seek personal gratification. Oh, sure, she felt the burning need for mousing occasionally and darted out for some swift and pleasant bloodthirsty activity.
Rainy never put her kittens on a schedule of feeding. She just nestled up with them whenever they mewed. She never worried about the toll it might be taking on her body, or how time consuming it was to nurse hours a day.
Yes, we humans have more stuff, more duties to fulfill, more obligations, more meals to make and money to earn and burn. But we also got the opposable thumbs to be able to tie our babies on us. Perhaps the season of babies needs to be a season of less. Particularly less away from those babies.
Science supports some of these ramblings. We know that the more we are with our babies, physical contact, nursing, toting our babies, the more we produce of the mothering hormones, prolactin and oxytocin and the more we WANT to be with them. Breastfeeding babies aids us in our desire and capacity to be with them. Mothering hormones help us be more calm.
The psychological aspect of motherhood becomes easier when we are able to embrace it more fully, without the guilt, pressure, deterrents that we may feel from family, friends, society, ourselves.
Rainy was comfortable in her own skin. Humans, generally not. The perky upper middle class first world breast has been raised up for its cuteness, its sensuality, its ability to sell stuff and get stuff.
It has power. And it truly does, my friends.
The power to nurture life and grow babies and help us to do a better job at it.
I am a mammal. Attempting to raise my young in a warm and loving manner.
Here goes. I'm a mammal, and I do, honestly believe that culturally we need to act more like mammals than we do in respect to raising children. Among other things such as mammary glands, hair on our bodies and such like, one of the hallmarks of mammalian behaviour is to "raise young in a warm and loving manner."
Mammals are primarily relational creatures.
Lord knows I try.
However hard I try, I fail.
I've never seen one of our cats freak out on her kittens.
What I've noticed over the years, though, is that the more I acted like a mammal, the more I felt like one. The more okay it was to be a mammal. Rainy never put her kittens in daycare so she could seek personal gratification. Oh, sure, she felt the burning need for mousing occasionally and darted out for some swift and pleasant bloodthirsty activity.
Rainy never put her kittens on a schedule of feeding. She just nestled up with them whenever they mewed. She never worried about the toll it might be taking on her body, or how time consuming it was to nurse hours a day.
Yes, we humans have more stuff, more duties to fulfill, more obligations, more meals to make and money to earn and burn. But we also got the opposable thumbs to be able to tie our babies on us. Perhaps the season of babies needs to be a season of less. Particularly less away from those babies.
Science supports some of these ramblings. We know that the more we are with our babies, physical contact, nursing, toting our babies, the more we produce of the mothering hormones, prolactin and oxytocin and the more we WANT to be with them. Breastfeeding babies aids us in our desire and capacity to be with them. Mothering hormones help us be more calm.
The psychological aspect of motherhood becomes easier when we are able to embrace it more fully, without the guilt, pressure, deterrents that we may feel from family, friends, society, ourselves.
Rainy was comfortable in her own skin. Humans, generally not. The perky upper middle class first world breast has been raised up for its cuteness, its sensuality, its ability to sell stuff and get stuff.
It has power. And it truly does, my friends.
The power to nurture life and grow babies and help us to do a better job at it.
I am a mammal. Attempting to raise my young in a warm and loving manner.